Meri-kahani, the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning?

Read the other parts of this series under the label meri-kahani first.

(I wanted to get on with other kahanis, so I am going to skip over a lot of senti stuff of this story. You can safely assume there were lots of troughs and crests in this story, just like every other story. :-) )

Summary of the parts skipped: ..contd after meeting in bombay.. I went to her place as well. Had fun. It was all going okay good. Ofcourse, I was a nervous wreck lots of times, but thats, well.. nothing unusual. Then, suddenly, she goes out of touch. Cant be reached on phone or otherwise. I dont have her address either or possibly anyway to contact her. 18 days later, she comes online for a few minutes. Luckily, I happen to be online and she messages me immediately. I come to know she had an accident. A big accident. A broken back, broken phone as well, and completely bed-ridden for last 15 days. But she was going to get better. We were happy to talk to each other again.

But sometimes, some things are never meant to be. Nagging doubts and guilt factors can do a lot of damage. I was very concerned for her, but slightly angry at her, for not informing me at all. She could have told some close friend to inform me. Do I don't deserve even that? But was it just her fault? I blamed myself as well. If she could get a friend to tell me, I could have done the same and asked some close friend of her. I already knew she had told something to her best friend. My guess is she went through quiet a similar mental trauma, probably even more.

Things got better slowly. She got better. Painkillers did change her a lot, but life was better with a moody-her than without her. Or maybe not. I could feel some distance when I talked to her. There was some lingering tensions, some doubts, some things left unsaid. For better or for worse, I would never know. I am not sure it was even a relationship anymore, we weren't officially a pair anyway. But, sadly, now I could see the friendship drifting apart.

Finally, I got myself to open up to her. I told her everything I felt. All my doubts, all my feelings, everything I blamed myself for. So did she. And it was over. We didn't have a fight. But we didn't feel together anymore either. I knew now I had friend who would watch my back, be there for me. I think she knows that well too. Sometimes it feels sad it all had to end this way. End in an anti-climax kind of way. But sometimes, I think, this was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I should be thankful to her for that. Maybe I shouldn't think so much. :-)

But there is one thing am very very sure about.

Even if she's not the one, I believe she is perfect. for me. in every way.

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